Review: Doctor Who – Flux

shite
You should all be fucking arrested for this garbage.

Doctor Who has always been a mess, but what the actual fuck was this latest installment about? Every episode of Flux was whizzing around, being confusing, using people as plot devices, and pulling in every alien enemy it could to distract us from the fact that it had no real story to tell.

So the Doctor has lost memories. Big fucking deal. We’ve known that from the beginning. Why wrap that mystery inside an enigma of alien takeover (which is really getting kinda old?) I mean, it was such a clusterfuck of Sontarans, Weeping Angels, Cybermen and Daleks. The Lupari race that protects humans was new bit, but still..so what? Then there was Bel and Vinder, who were a couple expecting a child. They got separated somehow (was never clear on that) and even though they were reunited, they had no real backstory and might as well have not even been there. I can’t even get into the others because they were barely present.

Oh right. The Flux.

That whirling dervish of temporal destruction that was eating up the Universe the Doctor had worked so hard so protect. (Although “protect” is certainly open to interpretation.) Apparently, it only existed because of the Doctor because everything is about the Doctor. And there was the pocketwatch full of the Doctor’s lost memories. Which she had the Tardis hide from her. So she won’t examine them, and we can’t see them, and WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF THIS SHIT? YOU’RE NOT TELLING US ANYTHING!

Anyway, something called a Guardian, which has infinite landscapes inside itself, absorbed the Flux, and The Universe Was Saved™. Of course!

We’re all capable of the most incredible change. We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honour who we’ve been and choose who we want to be next. Now’s your chance! How about it? — The 13th Doctor

Yeah, change into something that’s actually watchable.

This final shortened (thank fuck) series was showrunner Chris Chibnall‘s send off as the reins are going to be passed back to Russell T. Davies. Not sure there’s a way to right this rudderless ship, but at least someone who knows the sea is attempting to re-take the helm. That’s an encouraging first step. But, still. I’m keeping my expectations very, very low.

JMO, but the Flux was actually a good thing. If it had kept on going, then I wouldn’t have had to waste six hours of my life on this POS “story.” (Would that be a paradox?) The BBC should be ashamed of itself for passing this steaming turd off as an actual Doctor Who series. There was absolutely no fucking way it should have ever gone to air.

My grade: F- (Massive deductions for pretty much everything.)