Pets are Selfish

pope francis

Or so says the almighty Pope Francis. Nothing like a celibate man lecturing the rest of us about reproduction. That’s so fucking special.

We see that people do not want to have children, or just one and no more. And many, many couples do not have children because they do not want to, or they have just one — but they have two dogs, two cats … Yes, dogs and cats take the place of children.

Wait a fucking minute, dude. You do realize that people are allowed to make choices based on what’s best for them and their lives at any given time? They don’t need your blessing for their personal decisions. Basically bashing people for not having children is a heinous way to deny them their humanity. It’s also none of your business. Shut up.

This planet has too many people already, considering its dwindling resources and the ever-growing menance of climate change. Encouraging couples to have more children in the face of all that is socially and ecologically irresponsible. Shame on you for even suggesting that shit.

If anything, the Catholic Church has been a dangerous virus for 2,000 years. Maybe it’s time for it, and you Mr. Pope Man, to fuck off. We’re happy with our pets and other life choices, and we don’t need your advice. Your time would be better spent figuring out why priests like to molest children so much.

Pet owners have reacted angrily to the comments, made during a general audience at the Vatican. They argue that animals have a lower environmental footprint than children, enable them to lead a life that is different but equally rewarding, and compensate for financial or biological difficulties in having children, rather than directly replacing them. Rachel Hall, The Guardian

Yup, exactly. Pets are a more responsible choice for the planet, not a direct replacement for children. And really? Everywhere I go is populated by screaming kids. There is no actual shortage of them. There’s always enough in the vicinity to ruin whatever fun thing I had planned. So I’m calling bullshit on this whole “have more children” thing.